Archive for June 2009




Face down, eyes up

At the weekend I met someone who I connected with in a way which made me fairly certain that either a) I want to sleep with them or b) I’m going to sleep with them. I am aware that the latter makes me sound like I’m thinking illegal thoughts, but it’s a concept I’m still getting my head round, and I realise I could be confusing the two through a haze of lust and my overactive imagination.

I’m generally quite bad at judging how things are going to work out with another person where sex is concerned, and the first time I was exposed to such a level of certainty was when B was sleeping with a mutual friend who had told him that she knew she was going to sleep with him the first night they met. I couldn’t relate to that at all, but after the weekend’s encounter I seem to have a better appreciation for it and I spent most of Sunday thinking about this and having a couple of afternoon powernaps lulling myself to sleep with the aid of some filthy daydreams.

The next few months shall be interesting.

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Add comment June 25, 2009

Save the ex-embryo

Since I stopped working at El Clinico Aborto some time ago, I put the issue of abortion to the back of my mind and became quite meh about the subject. When I was doing my GP placement, I occasionally saw pregnant patients and discussed their antenatal care. All the pregnancies I saw had been wanted, so it was a far cry from having to discuss abortion options.

A few days ago during the neonatal ward round, while I was peering down at the tiny babies born too soon, my mind wandered back to the subject of late-term abortion and where my personal ‘cut-off’ would be for performing them. Surgical late-term abortion is pretty unpleasant as a procedure and there are not many people willing to do them. Obstetrics, seeing new parents holding their babies and palpating heavily pregnant abdomens helped me to push it all to the back of my mind. Dr Tiller’s death has been quite the wake up call.

I never feared for my personal safety or my life when I worked there. I sometimes looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was following me, but generally my walk to the station was filled with thoughts like what I was going to have for supper and playing with the shuffle on my ipod.

I am not the sort of person who would continue working in a place if it meant I had to wear a bulletproof vest to work. Nor I am the sort who would continue working if I had been previously shot. Dr Tiller helped people when no one else would. What really gets me is that there are large numbers of people (publicly and privately) who are rejoicing at the news of his death. I wonder if they would go to work under similar circumstances.

Add comment June 1, 2009

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