The long slog

July 25, 2008 rooroo

Everything willing, I will be in my fourth year of medicine very soon. Yesterday I went for a drink with a friend during a revision sesion at what used to be my local bar when I lived in halls. I don’t know if it was the vision of all the young prospective students walking by, or the summery sweetness of my Malibu and coke, but it made me think about times past, and the direction I’m heading in now.

I often feel very restricted in the course I’m doing, but I knew when I started that was the lifestyle I had chosen and that was to be expected. I made the decision to become a doctor on a serious level when I was 16-17 and I can’t comprehend now how anyone can make a decision like that at such a young age. I don’t think people in their late teens and early twenties are necessarily the best equipt people to start medical training, but that’s how doctors are prepared and cooked in our society and for the time being there’s little good to be done arguing otherwise.

In the 5 minutes of ‘worry time’ I allow myself each night, I worry about what’s going to happen if I fail and if I would want to carry on if I did. I honestly don’t know, and despite deep concentration, I can’t for the life of me think of anything else I’d be happier doing.

For the time being, I feel weary, weepy and fed up. The next 7 days are going to feel very short and very long.

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Entry Filed under: musings

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